My Final Post

I have realized over the past several months that I just don't have it in me- I'm just not a blogger. I respect you folks that can keep up your blogs with good, interesting posts on a regular basis. So this is my final post. Today was a very big day for our family. We went to the courthouse for Graham's finalization of his adoption. It was really sweet. Our attorney met us there. He is an older gentleman and just precious. When it was our turn we went up to the judge's bench. We each stated our names- Jason first then me. Then I asked the judge if Josh and Lillie could state their names too. I lifted Lillie up to the mike and she said, "L-I-L-L-I-E". Then Jason lifted up Josh- yep he decided to follow in his sister's footsteps and he spelled out, "J-O-S-H." There were several giggles from different folks in the room, and the sweet judge was just smiling very sweetly and complimented them on how smart they are. She was great. Then the attorney asked Jason a series of questions such as can we confirm that the birth parents have terminated their rights and that Hope Cottage has approved us as adoptive parents. The the last question he asked is, "Do you love this child and are you willing to provide a good home for him?" I just teared up. Then it was my turn and he asked me do I concur with the way Jason answered the previous questions. Then he asked me if I love the child and am I willing to give him a good home. I was barely able to choke out a "yes, I do." Then the judge said, "Well, it's not final until I give the little guy a gift. " Then she handed us a little puppy dog beany baby. So sweet. Then we went out into the hall and took the picture that I posted above. And we also got out Flat Stanley for our cousin in South Dakota and took a picture of Flat Stanley at the courthouse :-) We had originally hoped to head to the Arboretum for a family picnic, but the weather was not too cooperative- pretty chilly and very windy. So we settled for some Chick-Fil-A, where we happened to run into our dear friend Tara and her kids and one of her sweet friends. It was really sweet because Tara and her husband have been in our community group and have walked this road with us since we first started praying about adoption.

I originally started this blog because I wanted to share our adoption story with others. So if you know people who are considering adoption please pass my contact info along to them. If you don't have my info then just private message me on Facebook and I'll get it to you.

God bless you all and keep you all. May His goodness and His glory be ever-present in your lives.

Much love,

Courtney and family

My Happy Little Guy

Graham is doing great! We went to a pediatric dermatologist at the end of December. She had us try soy formula and Alimentum- a hypoallergenic formula to see if any of Graham's skin issues were caused by a milk protein allergy. We're back on regular formula now because the others didn't help, but she helped us feel better about using mild steroid creams to treat his eczema. She said as long as we are using it only on the rough patches of skin and not the smooth, healthy skin that we are in the clear. So his skin is actually doing much better.

We had his last post adoption visit by our caseworker at the agency today. We will be eligible to finalize his adoption in the courts next month, but the actual court date will probably be sometime in March. It will feel really good for it to be 100% a done deal!

Graham is also doing great with making strides developmentally. He is starting to roll over form his tummy to his back, starting to eat baby cereal and a couple of baby foods, and he's finally started doing a lot better with reaching and grabbing! He is such a happy baby- and so friendly and social. He loves to smile and talk to everyone he meets. Josh and Lillie are still totally smitten with him. Lillie especially loves being his little second mommy. She did get in trouble this week because she tried sneaking him her chocolate milk when I wasn't looking. That day she got a stern warning. Then two days later she fed him some of her cereal, so she lost a lot of privileges that day- no dessert, no TV, no books or stories at bedtime. That girl is sneaky! We need to keep a close eye on her!

My Budding Competitor

This big kid is way into sports and competition right now. My parents kept the kids for us last month while we did a retreat with our new marrieds group that we lead. Josh got to watch two back to back NFL play off games with his Poppy and he has not come back down from the football high. He will get out his little nerf football and act out games in the house- recently the Cowboys, Frogs, and Seahawks played Oklahoma and the "Coats" (Colts) and "Peetriots" (Patriots). Of course Frogs/Cowboys/Seahawks won.

In this picture Josh is holding a lemon slice. Every so often I like to scrub my kitchen floors with lemons. This day after we cleaned we made fresh squeezed lemonade at Josh's request.

Tomorrow Josh gets to take snacks to his preschool class. It's a pretty big deal to bring snack because you get to be the line leader and you get to sit at a special snack table and choose a friend to sit at the special table with you. Josh is bringing veggie straws and marshmallows for his snack. He is beyond excited. While we were counting out marshmallows and putting them into ziplock baggies I started asking Josh how he felt about turning five and getting to go to kindergarten next year. He told me he is sad and scared because you have to go to kindergarten everyday and so he won't have as much time to spend with his family. Awwww. That just broke my heart a little bit. But I think he is really going to love school, so that makes me feel better.

Foot Stamps

Today while some friends were over to play, Lillie disappeared for a few minutes. When I went to find her I found my bathroom covered in baby powder! Lillie was making "foot stamps".

Lotions and potions

Graham has had skin issues since day 1. We have a cabinet's-worth of lotions and potions now that includes T-Gel shampoo, Eucerin calming wash, Eucerin advanced dry skin therapy cream, cetaphil cream, cortizone cream, jojoba oil, shea butter lotion, aquafor, vaseline, and Neutragena Norwegian fisherman's lotion. At his 2 month appointment our pediatrician told us to treat his eczema with cortizone and vaseline or aquafor. Then at a three month visit to make sure he didn't have an ear infection, the other doctor in the practice told us that cortizone could bleach his skin if it was used for several consecutive days. Then a co-worker of Jason's said that she took her son to a dermatologist for his cradle cap and dry skin and that the cradle cap went away within a few days of using the prescription cream. So I decided to go to that same dermatologist because I just felt like we were fighting a losing battle trying to keep his skin and scalp hydrated and healthy. On Monday morning at 8:35 we arrived for our 8:40 appointment with Josh and Lillie still in pajamas and Graham needing his bottle and letting everyone know it. While I was checking in I could hear Josh talking to Graham, "You don't have a baby in your tummy, Graham. But you could adopt a baby. We adopted you. You didn't grow in mommy's tummy. You grew in a different tummy, but we adopted you." I'm not sure the handful of folks in the waiting room appreciated Josh's explanation. I'm guessing they were hoping to read their magazines in peace and quiet. We finally made it back to see the dermatologist. She said that eczema in infants is usually due to the skin not producing enough ceramides on its own. There are three over-the-counter lotions that contain pheramides: Aveeno makes one, Cetaphil makess one, and Cera Ve. She ordered us a prescription scalp oil, a prescription cream to use on rough patches on arms and legs, and gave us samples of the cetaphil lotion called Restoraderm. I filled the prescriptions right away and got Graham on his new regimen. By Tuesday night Jason and I were both very concerned about the skin on Graham's face and neck. He looked like a leathery, wrinkly old man. It was terrible. So I got online and found out that Restoraderm has shea butter in it- which we had tried on Graham before and he did not respond well to it. So I ran to the store and grabbed some Cera Ve. This morning when Graham woke up he looked like a scaly alligator. Huge pieces of skin were flaking off all over his face, scalp, and neck. His arms, legs, and torso were fine- in fact his legs are looking quite a bit better. So I took him back to the dermatologist today to figure out what was going on. Unfortunately she pretty much said she didn't know. She didn't know if it was an allergic reaction or if it was just the way his skin was sloughing off dead skin. I told her about the Restoraderm having shea butter in it and she said that the scalp oil had peanut oil in it. WHAT?!?! Who gives a 3 month old infant something with peanut oil?? Most pediatricians don't want kids even touching peanuts until 3yrs old or later. That is when I really regretted not going to a pediatric dermatologist. I had called a pediatric dermatologist, but they couldn't get me in until the end of the month. Anyway, she said to stop using the scalp oil as well as any lotions with ceramides and go back to the stuff we were using previously. Then she also gave us a new prescription for a cortizone cream. I asked her about if it could bleach his skin. She acted surprised by the question and said that she had never heard that. Ugh. The conflicting info is frustrating. So I called and talked to a nurse at my pediatrician's office and she said to go ahead and fill the prescription. The more I have thought about it I feel pretty confident that the culprit for the crazy skin-peeling reaction is the scalp oil. Not only does it contain peanut oil, it also has a scent to it. We have not used anything scented for Graham because his birth mom told us that she was allergic to perfumes. But today would have been a great day to have her contact info and be able to ask her some questions. The dermatologist asked if his birth mom had battled eczema as a child or asthma. She said asthma, allergies, and eczema all go hand in hand. We have a brief summary of her medical history that the hospital provided to us, but nothing extensive. Well, I know that was a LONG post on skincare- but thanks for letting me vent. It is just hard to watch my sweet baby boy who I love struggle with all of these skin issues. I feel very hopeful that we will get it all to a healthy place soon. Thanks again for your prayers and support.

Happy Belated Halloween :-)

Josh the gecko, Lillie the ladybug, and Graham the bumblebee had a great Halloween weekend. Our friend Trey set up this backdrop to take pictures of the kids at their costume party. Once Josh lost the gecko gloves and mask he looked more like a surfer :-)

On actual Halloween night we went to the same church in McKinney that we've gone to for 5 years in a row now. Josh and Lillie had a great time playing games, jumping in bounce houses, and filling up their baskets with candy. Josh was actually very diligent to not pick any candy that would be too sticky or chewy for his new sparkly teeth to handle. Graham did great as usual- he is such a content baby!

Two Months and Counting!

Graham turned two months old last Monday on Jason's birthday. He weighed 8 lbs 5 oz at his check up. He's truly doing great. Josh and Lillie did manage to pass along a cold to him, but he is pretty much over it and doing fine now. Sweet Josh had to have oral surgery two Wednesdays ago. They ended up putting caps or fillings on all of his teeth except his 2 yr molars- YIKES! Poor guy. Jason says Josh inherited bad teeth from him. Lillie girl is still pumped about her weekly gymnastics class. She gladly shows off her oh-so-impressive arm circles and stretches to anyone who will give her an audience. We all 5 had a great time at TCU's homecoming this past Saturday. It was supposed to rain the whole time but ended up being pretty pleasant weather for most of the time. We're looking forward to Halloween weekend. We still need to nail down plans for the actual night of Halloween- but the festivities will kick off for Josh on Thursday with a party at school. We worked on Josh's gecko costume today. It is 90% ready. We just lack suction cups for his gloves! Then Friday we are hoping to get to trick or treat at the same retirement center we've been going to since Josh was an infant. Saturday is a costume party and a pumpkin carving party. Hopefully some cute Gecko, Lady Bug, and Bumblebee pics coming soon!

My Baby Boy is 6 Weeks Old!

Sweet Graham turned six weeks on Wednesday. Last week Lillie had a 24 hour stomach bug and a sweet friend watched Graham for most of the afternoon and evening to keep him away from the sick germs. It was SO weird being home without Graham. I can't believe that just six weeks ago it would have been a normal day to just be home with Josh and Lillie. It is already hard to imagine life without Graham. And Josh and Lillie were so upset that I let him go stay at a friend's house for the day. Josh tried to convince me that he would be way too sad without us. Lillie tried to convince me that she was all better and that we should go pick him up. I love how much they love him. We had our first post-adoption visit with our Hope Cottage caseworker this week. I wondered if it sounded at all insincere when we told her how well we were all adjusting to adding Graham to the family, but the truth is we are all doing exceptionally well with the transition. Even the sleep deprivation is going incredibly well. Graham is starting to average a 5 hour stretch at night. Last night he slept from 10:30pm to 3:30am. Then back down at 4am and stayed asleep until 9am! He still is probably at least a few ounces shy of what Josh weighed at birth (8 lb 10 oz), but Josh didn't sleep through the night consistently until closer to 9 months! Graham has slept through the night twice in the last week! I had heard there were babies that could sleep so well at such a young age, I just never imagined I would have one! It's pretty great!!

Along with the 6 week milestone also came a handful of smiles and giggles. We've yet to capture one on camera- so hopefully that post will be coming soon!

Gaining, breastmilk, wedding, and bonding

We went for a 1 month check up yesterday at the pediatrician's office. Graham weighed in at 7 lbs 1oz! The doctor said to continue giving him the higer calorie formula for another two weeks but that after that he could go back to a regular ratio. Other great news on the Graham front is that a dear friend of ours is pumping and giving us breast milk for him- so far enough for one bottle a day. I am very grateful to God for providing my son with the good nutrition and immune-boosting power of breastmilk despite my decision to stop trying to induce lactation.

We took Graham to a wedding this weekend. It brought back memories of when Josh was an infant at Grammy and Grandpa's wedding. He was oohed and ahhhhed over quite a bit. I had accidentally left my hot sling (baby carrier) at the house, so I facebooked and found a high school friend in Austin who very generously loaned us her sling and her wrap. Her wrap is a Moby wrap. It was very fun to use! I'm a fan. Toward the end of the reception Graham's diaper leaked big time. He peed all over me and all over the floor! Oops! It reminded me of when Josh was a newborn and his diaper leaked right in Jason's lap making it look like Jason was the one who had the accident :-) Except now the joke was on me. Needless to say we made a fairly swift exit at that point.

Josh and Lillie continue to bond with their new little brother. Lillie's first words each morning when she sees Graham for the first time that morning are, "Oh, he's so cute! Graham is so cute!" Josh has started recruiting Graham to play on his "team" whenever a game is going on. Josh's current obsession is with "Binocally" or known to most as Monopoly. Josh plays a 4 yr. old version of the game- just rolling and trying to get around the board first. (no money passed out, no buying properties, etc.) He will give Graham the play by play. "Graham, we rolled a 6! Graham, we made it past the policeman! Graham, we're about to win!" I'm fine with Josh's Binocally obsession in part because he is teaching himself addition. He'll say, "I rolled a six and a two. That's eight, right mom?" Tonight the game was Jenga. Josh and Graham were on a team, Lillie played by herself, and I played by myself. Not too surprising- Lillie came in third :-) And that is just fine with her. She does not have the share her brother's highly competitive attitude- which is nice!

Graham's Personal Trainer and Singer/Songwriter

I'm guessing not many 4 week old babies can claim that they have a personal trainer. Graham's trainer's name is Lillie. Her new favorite Graham-related activity is teaching him to roll over. She pushes his little legs and bottom to one side and helps him roll side to side. If he even attempts to turn his head or his shoulders in the same direction she is pushing him she stops and claps and cheers for him. So cute.

Josh is Graham's personal singer/songwriter. If Graham is fussing or even just happily hanging out, Josh often busts out with some original lullabies or other fun songs. Yesterday he was singing, "Graham, you have a birth mom and a forever mom. Your forever mom is my forever mom. You can live with us forever." Love it!

Josh has also assumed the role of tutor. Tonight he was telling Graham that God made him and everything around him. Then he said, "That's just the facts, Graham. And you when you get big you can teach our next new baby the facts." I had to clarify and ask what next new baby Josh had in mind. He said that when Graham gets big we'll need a new baby in our house and then we would be a six family. Whoa, partner!! Slow down there :-) We've only been a five family for three and a half weeks!! But it sure has been a sweet past few weeks!

Our Growing Boy!!

Well, adding the extra quarter of a scoop of formula to a 2 oz bottle has made more of a difference than I thought possible! Mr. Graham weighed in at 6 lbs. at the doctor's office yesterday! That means he gained 11 oz in a week. Not too shabby! The thicker formula did make him a bit constipated and so now we are giving him a 1/2 oz of prune juice twice a day. But that is not a big deal. He sucks down that prune juice with no trouble at all. I was so relieved when the nurse proclaimed him a 6 lb baby. And he has even started taking 3 oz at a feeding on occasion. I'm so grateful for this little milestone.

Sadly, No More Lactating For Me

I have been very worn out trying to fit in the 8x a day of pumping that I'm supposed to be doing to help bring in my milk supply. Graham has been fighting the SNS device. I've been forgetting to take my milk supply meds and herbal teas. It was just a such a challenge. Then last night I talked to an adoptive mom who had given it 4 weeks with her first child before calling it quits. Then with her second child she stuck with it and somewhere between 3-4 months she really noticed a big jump in her milk supply. Just to hear her talking in terms of months and not weeks was almost all I needed to help me cross the line mentally. I felt like maybe I could buck up and give it a try for another week or two, but I feel pretty sure I won't last for several more months of using that SNS device. This sweet mom gave me the name of another doctor who has a webpage with protocols for inducing lactation. He recommends that every feeding be done through the SNS. Unfortunately since Graham is so tiny and we're working hard to get him to gain weight, I can't let him use the SNS for more than a couple of feedings a day. Then with Jason going back to work tomorrow and having to travel for work off and on for the next three or four weeks, it just all adds up to the conclusion that it is time to embrace having a fully formula-fed baby.
All that to say, I am so grateful that I gave it a try. I will always remember the sweet moment that my friend Emmy came over and we got Graham to latch on for the first time. I am so grateful that I was able to bond with him in that way over the last couple of weeks. It was worth the effort.

Comments From Josh

Josh had asked if Graham could watch a video with him on Friday during rest time. I explained that Graham is too little to watch a video, but that he could sit and look at Josh while he watched a video. So we propped Graham up in the Boppy next to Josh. Josh just rubbed and patted Graham's head and was talking to him. It was very sweet. Then I heard Josh say, "Graham, when you get bigger you'll have to go away, but we will come and visit you every day." What?!?! I said, "Josh, why do you think Graham will have to go away?" He said, "When he goes to live with a different family." I said, "No sweetie. Graham is my son just like you are my son. He will always be in our family forever." Josh said, "Oh, okay." So then that afternoon we were at the post office and a friendly elderly woman was oohing and aahhing over Graham. I like to try and bring some attention back to Josh and Lillie sometimes when that happens, so I told her that Graham has two doting big siblings. She looked at Josh and Lillie and asked if she could take him home. My very literal, black and white thinking son said, "No. He belongs to us because we adopted him. But maybe you can come and visit."
Well, from the post office we went to Braum's for milk and ice cream. When I opened the door to unbuckle kids I was met with an unpleasant smell. I asked if someone had been tooting. Lillie quickly called out, "Not me!" So Josh said, "Maybe it was Graham." I laughed out loud. I can't believe that poor little Graham is only 2 weeks old and already getting blamed for stuff. Later I told Jason in front of Josh what Josh said. Then I told Josh, "Now Josh, be honest. Were you the one who tooted?" And he smiled very sheepishly and said, "Okay...."
Good times.

How Sweet Is This?

Here is a taste of what's to come when this boy really starts smiling! Jason was holding him and we managed to catch him on camera smiling while he was falling asleep! We took him for his two week appointment today. He now weighs 5 lbs and 5 oz. So he is slowly but surely inching up the scale. The doctor recommended we make his formula a bit thicker (a tad more caloric- an extra quarter of a scoop per ounce!) to try and help the boy gain some weight. He did have to get his second PKU stick done today as well. This may have been more upsetting to Lillie than to Graham. She was very concerned about why he needed a pinch and a band aid. She and Josh wore their big brother and big sister shirts to support their little brother on his trip to the doctor.

I Heart Consignment Sales!!

My sweet friend, Chrissy, shared her "shop early" passes to the Divine Consign sale in Plano. I picked up a bumblebee costume for Graham (it looks big in the picture, but it says 0-3 months...) and a ladybug costume for Lillie. I asked Josh which bug he wanted to be and he said he would rather just be a gecko! So we might have a bumblebee, ladybug, and a gecko this year! I also got Josh and Lillie each a big brother and a big sister gift, I picked up a dollhouse to save and give Lillie at Christmas (shhh- don't tell!) and I decided to buy a sit and stand double stroller so that Lillie and Graham and I can get our exercise on at Stroller Strides while Josh is at preschool!!

Lillie and "Her Baby"

On the Wednesday we got the call that it might be just a matter of days before our new baby would come to join our home, I decided to give Josh and Lillie a heads up. I didn't want to go into any details and really wanted to try and protect their hearts in case the mom didn't sign. But at the same time I wanted them to be prepared for the idea of the baby being here soon. When I told Lillie the baby was coming soon she asked, "Mommy, is it going to be my baby?" I said, "Yes, sweetheart. It is going to be your baby." She asked, "Well, are you going to hold my baby?" So I tried to explain that we were all going to get a new baby- that she would be the big sister and I would be the mommy. Well, here we are a week after we brought Graham home and I'm pretty sure Lillie still thinks it's her baby! She loves holding him in her lap. She commentates on every little move he makes- "Oh, Mommy! He opened his eyes!" "Oh, look, he's stretching out his arms!" The girl is smitten. It's pretty sweet. The picture is from the outing we took to the new Cowboy stadium. I had bought the Groupon for the VIP tour back in June and gave it to Jason for father's day. We had a great time touring the new stadium together as a family. Josh and Jason ran around on the field together while Lillie and I went and checked out the cheerleaders' locker room!

Our healthy, happy crew!!

Thanks so much for your prayers! Lillie's fever was gone by this evening. We'll see if it stays gone- it is looking like just a little 24 hr bug. Graham was back up to his birth weight- 5 lbs 20z! Graham is enjoying the new chair that his friends Thessalie and Carrington sent him! Thanks, girls!

Graham's First Weigh-In Tomorrow and a Prayer Request

We'll take Graham to get weighed tomorrow at the pediatrician's office. I sure hope that he is at least back up to birth weight. He seems to be doing a good job with his bottles, but I don't really know what to expect in that area- I mainly just nursed Josh and Lillie. We didn't do too many bottles. So I don't know if right around 2oz every 3 hours is good?? Hopefully good enough for him to gain weight! He is definitely still on "womb time." I'm sure he got used to sleeping while birth mom was up and active and then awake when she layed down to rest at night. Right now as I'm typing he is wide awake on a blanket on th floor looking all around!

Our prayer request is about Lillie girl. She came down with a 102.7 fever tonight out of the blue- no other symptoms. We'd appreciate prayers for her to get better soon- and especially that this virus or whatever illness it is won't spread to Baby Graham!

Thanks again for your prayers!!

A Trip To The Dentist

After going pretty fast and furious all weekend, we all slowed down today and had a pajama day. I did change into some regular clothes around noon because I had to go to the dentist. On Saturday morning an hour before we left to go to the hospital to meet Graham I had a run-in with Lillie's head. I was bending down to pick her up from behind and she jumped up at full force and smacked me right in the chin. I bit down so crazy hard that I chipped several of my bottom teeth. One of my first thoughts was- "great. now I am going to be all snaggle-toothed to meet birth mom. that will be awkward and embarrassing." But as soon as I thought it I felt God nudge me in my spirit and say "don't you think she is going to be feeling awkward, too?" So I took two advil and it was fine. But I was so grateful to get them fixed today!
Today was awesome. Lillie was still attached to Graham's hip, Josh got to play lots of games and puzzles with Mommy and Daddy today. Graham is eating and sleeping and occasionally looking around and taking things in. Tonight he got to meet the girls I've been doing a Monday night Bible study with. Another sweet thing about today is that Graham had two special visitors- Katrina came over and met Lillie the day or two after we brought her home from the hospital, and today she got to hold and meet Graham. Robyn met both Josh and Lillie as newborns and got to meet and hold Graham today as well- so sweet!

A Day Filled With Firsts

Today was Graham's first time to go to church. He enjoyed hearing about how children are like arrows in the hands of a warrior as he sat/slept in the family room with his Mimi. (Jason and I were serving in Lillie's class!) Then my sweet friend Emmy came over and brought an SNS which I believe stands for Supplemental Nursing System. Emmy is a lactation consultant and generously offered her expertise today as I am still making an effort to induce lactation. So today was Graham's first day to nurse (even though he was just getting formula through a tube, he still latched on!) Then Mimi and Aunt Mindy helped give Graham his first bath. We washed his hair over the sink and just washed one little body part at a time on a towel on the counter making sure not to get his little umbilical cord wet. I think Graham enjoyed it! Then tonight was Graham's first Foundation Group meeting! Our sweet newly married group came over for our regular Sunday meeting tonight and they all got to meet and hold Graham. This afternoon Jason switched the crib over from toddler height to baby height. So we swaddled Graham in the miracle blanket (as pictured!) and tonight will be his first night in the crib. Except that he already peed through the miracle blanket so it will still be his first attempt in the crib- just not in the miracle blanket!